It’s not you, it’s us.
Well that’s not true, it’s you too.
You see, we don’t really need you. We’re a free spirited, independent state and we have been for some time. We have somebody already. Actually, we have a lot of somebodies. We have too many somebodies, to be frank. Our biggest problem is a lack of housing for all of our somebodies, which, honestly, you’re not going to make any better by coming here.
You talk about bringing in 50,000 new jobs, but we’ve seen similar circumstances where only 7 out of 100 of your new jobs are going to be filled by our unemployed locals, and only 16 others are going to be from our people transferring jobs. The rest are going to be from people transferring in from out of state, and that’s going to create congestion on our already crowded roads, create longer lines at our favorite venues and send our already-high cost of housing into the stratosphere. We currently have a 2% unemployment rate -among the lowest in the nation-, so you coming here and bringing in a ton of new people isn’t really going to help us out.
We’re also not sure that you’re worth it. We’ve seen what other cities have had to give up to get you. Newark is offering you $7 billion in tax subsidies to attract you, and if that’s the kind of city you want to go after then we just can’t be that.
We know you love us. We know we’re a hot commodity. Who wouldn’t love our beautiful mountains, our Broncos, our incredibly friendly atmosphere, our craft beer culture, and our great climate? But there’s a city out there for you, we promise. Whatever you decide, we wish you all the best. You’re still young, you’ll find someone.